Last week, I had a very eye-opening experience. For my whole life, I have been taught about what it means to be a Christian. I have taken the worldview classes and I have gone to the apologetics seminars, but it was tonight, in the futility of my mind, and the blank that I drew that brought me to a very real conclusion.
My College Ethics class was discussing the topic of absolute versus relative truth or morality. In a class of twenty or more students, I was the only one who believed that there was an absolute standard of truth, morality, and ethical beliefs. The professor did not seem convinced that I could really be a full-blown absolutist. He proceeded to present a scenario that he clearly thought would stump me. However, thanks to previous study and the exact same scenario being presented to me in an online debate. He thought he had put me in a no-win scenario, but I broke it and forced him to concede. he said, “Well Tim, you are indeed an absolutist. I can simply encourage you, if you are going to be an absolutist, be the best absolutist you can be.” I felt like I had just won a major victory in the class, showing that I knew what I believed and that I was not going to waver. This victory was short-lived, however.
The class discussion was over and we moved into the lecture section of the class period. The lecture was on the German philologist, Friedrich Nietzsche. The Professor talked about how Nietzsche believed in master and slave moralities. The Concept was that the masters were the ones who were independent and ambitious and what they wanted and felt like became the standard. The slave moralities, he said, were epitomized by Christianity. He said Christianity was a morality for weak individuals who needed a group to survive. Those that stayed in the group, according to Nietzsche were the ones who held back human evolution; whereas the ones who separated themselves and did only what pleased themselves were the people who would advance humanity. I could not believe what I had just heard; it was like someone had just stabbed me in the heart. “Christianity is for weak individuals who will never excel” I knew Christians were not weak. “A morality of pity…holding humanity back” Christians are the hands and feet of Christ, helping the weak, leading them, so that all may know true strength that comes from Jesus himself.
I sat in my chair listening to the entire lecture trying to recall all of those classes and seminars on defending my faith and nothing came, I was blank, there was no thought in my mind that could come against this attack on Christianity. Several of the other students made comments that this was a good philosophy and that we do not need the group to succeed. I believe that the group is what makes us stronger. We are told in Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” The believers need the fellowship to sharpen and make each other stronger, this does not make them weak, it makes them strong. I can look back and say that this is what I was supposed to say, but I sat there in futility thinking of nothing to say.
When class was dismissed, I walked to the car defeated, upset and weak. I felt as though I had failed my family, who had raised and taught me how to defend my faith. I felt that I had failed myself by staying silent. But most importantly, I felt I had failed my Jesus, my Savior, my God. As I got into the car, I kept asking “Why God? Why could I not think of something to say? What am I supposed to do when all of them are against me?” Sitting in the driver’s seat of the car in the parking lot I sat, in silence. This may have been the most spiritually broken I have ever felt. I was fed up with the mediocrity of just reading my Bible, praying and going to church. I knew there needed to be more, more that I could do for the Savior of my soul. I turned on the car and the first song that played was “It Starts With Me” by Tim Timmons the chorus brought me to tears as I drove home “You’re my revival song, you start where I belong On my knees, on my knees When I am weak You’re strong you meet me here When I’m on my knees, on my knees Oh, it starts with me.”
He does indeed start where I belong: on my knees. I was broken and weak. I had fallen to my lowest, but it was there, in my futility, that He showed me the greatness of His strength. Romans 10:14 “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” Jesus filled me that night with a fire that I have not felt in a very long time. It is a fire that pushes me beyond my comfort level, to the point where the only way to proceed is to look to Jesus and trust that the strength He has will sustain me.
As I could feel His power welling within me I could only think “There are so many against me, how can I ever stand up against them?” But then, I heard another song on the radio as I was almost home, Chris Tomlin’s “Whom Shall I Fear” this time I began to weep in the car “ I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind The God of angel armies is always by my side. The One who reigns forever He is a friend of mine. The God of angel armies is always by my side.” There is no reason to fear the class that stands against me, no reason to fear the false teachings of dead philosophers and no reason to fear any force that comes our way Ephesians 6:12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
We are the church, we are the representatives of God Almighty on earth. We cannot afford to sit on the sidelines as the rubbish of false religions and philosophies contaminate the minds and hearts of our world. It is time God has promised, 2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” It starts now, no more sitting silent, no more fumbling for words. Seek His face, call on His name, the only name by which men can be saved.
He is my revival song. Revival starts with me, on my knees. We need Jesus in our land, join me, humbly pray and seek His face, to see Him restore our broken land.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:12
